H.A.V.E.N.    

Volume No. X                                                   Issue No. 7                                                October 2002

HIV/AIDS Volunteer Enrichment Network
P.O. Box 514, Arnold, MD 21012; (410) 224-2437; (410) 571-9328 – Fax
HAVENINC@aol.com

 

Quality of Life Retreat Dates

December 2nd – 5th, 2002

 Washington, D.C. Retreat House

February 3rd – 6th, 2003

 Washington, D.C. Retreat House

May 16th –18th, 2003

 Camp Manidokan, Knoxville, MD.

 

CLIENT NEEDS….

Two households recently contacted the office looking for a variety of furniture – beds, dining room tables, living room chairs, microwaves, etc.  If you have something in good shape that you think someone could use but you don’t need anymore, call Tony at the office.

 

MANY THANKS TO WHOLE FOODS MARKET

Thanks for shopping Fresh Fields Whole Foods Markets on our 5% day.  As a result of this event, HAVEN received more than $2,400!  And it was a great day to set up the quilt, bond with new volunteers, mingle with friends and make new ones as we promoted the volunteer training. 

 

ENRICHMENT:

A Call For Proposals

 

-Tony Teano

 

This article concludes a three-part series of reflections on the ECRA/Samaritan Ministries retreat program.  The first article described the Bon Secours Spiritual Center setting, and talked about the retreat theme as well as some programming attributes, such as a “prayer buddy.”  The second article talked about sacred spaces, the labyrinth in particular, and about what happens when people risk opening up and sharing their stories.  The purpose of this article is to reflect on transformation and what it means to be “in relationship” with one another in our community, as well as to explore ways in which we as a community may offer new workshops.  What I am talking about is enriching HAVEN’s programs, and enriching our lives.

 

Following are some of Merriam Webster’s Tenth Edition of the Collegiate Dictionary definitions for the word “enrich”: (1) to make rich or richer especially by the addition or increase of some desirable quality, attribute, or ingredient; (2) to add beauty to; (3) to enhance the taste of; and (4) to make more fertile. 

 

Enrich.  I think it is a very powerful word.  And it is a critical part of HAVEN’s purpose – The “E” in HAVEN stands for “enrichment,” and our mission statement is clearly “to enhance the quality of life for those whose lives are affected by HIV.”  That’s what we’re in the business of doing.  And we are already doing it through a housing program, an array of support groups, HAVEN Friends and special events, among other things.  But is that enough?  What else can we do? 

 

I asked these questions at a staff meeting, and I proposed several ideas.  The group brainstormed, and we would like to offer proposals in the form of a survey, which is enclosed in this newsletter.  We would also like to make a clear clarion call for proposals from others.  Already, new service-learners and new volunteers have offered new ideas.  You can, too.  We encourage you to participate in this process.  The proposed ideas have not been finalized as plans, and they may not be offered if there is insufficient interest in them.  The survey is an important tool in this assessment.  Please complete and return it by Halloween by sending it to Tony Teano, HAVEN, P.O. Box 514, Arnold, MD 21012.  Or, you can bring it with you to a support group or HAVEN Friends.  Same goes for proposals.

 

Here are a few possibilities that would be open to the entire HAVEN community – HIV+ folks, volunteers, and staff: Monthly Drop In Center; Making a Story Doll; Writer’s Workshop; Jewelry-Making; Pets on Wheels; Creating a Sacred Space; The Labyrinth;

Basic Yoga; The Four Agreements Workshop; Manifesting Your Intentions; Secret Pal; Aroma-Therapy and Essential Oils; Mindfulness Meditation; Watercolor Basics; and Museum Field-Trip.  (Please read the descriptions in the survey for more details.)

 

Regardless of what gets offered and what doesn’t, I’d like to reflect on what it means to be “in relationship” with one another because that’s what these new programming opportunities will allow us to do.  A friend uses this phrase frequently in her counseling profession.  When I first heard it, I thought it was a euphemism or substitute for the phrase “working with a client” in a clinical sense.  I was wrong.  Really, really wrong.  Absolutely incorrect. 

 

It was only after I read a book that she gave to me that I started to grasp what she wanted to convey with that phrase.  Interestingly, I read the book when I interned at the Bon Secours Spiritual Center.  Even more interesting to me, as I read about this book, popularly billed as “a practical guide to transformation,” I observed a myriad of personally unique transformational journeys all around me.  Beyond that, I noticed that this book described a handful of universal truths – some would argue that they are spiritual principles, too – and that these very principles were at work somehow on the retreat.

 

You may recall the difference that I described in the gentleman who was tough and thick skinned when he arrived at the retreat.  He didn’t let anybody in on day one.  It was difficult work for him to just be there.  And it was difficult for those around him, too, to work with someone as challenging as him.  But when he found genuine bonds with people, he also found the courage to be weak.  He found the strength to let down his guard, and when he did, he was finally open to transformation.  Now he was truly “in relationship” with others.  He grew as a person as a result of his interactions.  He learned about himself.  He gained hope and insights.  He replaced a harmful sense of strength – the variety that isolates and is defensive – with the sort that is open-hearted and embracing. 

 

So what is being “in relationship” about anyway?  Having missed the point the first time, I shyly attempt to describe the phenomenon.  To me, this phrase encompasses not just knowing someone or having a nominal role in their life.  Rather, it extends beyond that to include a sincere intention to seek a real tie with someone that may lead to making a difference in some way, regardless of “roles.”  It is much more than counseling.  It is much more than therapy.  It is as small and humble as who we are, and it is as great and as immense as who we are, too.  That includes being weak and vulnerable, robust and powerful.  It is about awareness of who we are and why we keep showing up.  That includes what we do when we arrive.  It is about being truly human.  That includes being connected as a community of human beings as well as sometimes seeking sacred solitary silence.  It is living. 

 

The catalyst for the transformation in the man I described earlier was, I believe, in part, his ability to open up and to be “in relationship” with others.  But there was more to it than just that.  The retreat program offered transformational opportunities that were based  on non-denominational, inclusive principles.  They were never articulated as spiritual commonalities.  But if they were I have a hunch that they would resemble those contained in the “practical guide to transformation” that my friend gave me.  So what is this “practical guide”?  The little book is an easy read by don Miguel Ruiz called “The Four Agreements.”  The four agreements are ancient Toltec teachings. Here’s a synopsis of them from don Miguel Ruiz’s homepage. (http://www.miguelruiz.com/publications.htm#fa)

THE FOUR AGREEMENTS ARE:

Be Impeccable With Your Word

Say only what you mean. The word is the most powerful tool we have as humans. Depending upon how it is used, the word can help us to become free or to enslave us. By practicing impeccability we can clear up communication problems, heal relationships, and create enough personal power to break our old limiting agreements.

Don't Take Things Personally

Each of us lives in our own personal dream,  and what we say, what we do, and the opinions we give come from the agreements that we have in our own minds - they have nothing to do with anyone else. By the same token, others' opinions have nothing to do with us, so there is nothing to take personally. When we make the assumption that whatever happens is because of us, we continue to hurt each other and brood about what we call injustice. A huge amount of freedom is gained when we take nothing personally.

Don't Make Assumptions

We make assumptions when we think we know what others mean, or when we think they know what we mean. The problem with making all those assumptions is that we believe them as the truth, and we blame others for the assumptions that we make. We must have the courage to ask what another means, and the courage to say what we really mean. The day we stop making assumptions, we communicate cleanly and clearly, free of emotional poison.

Always Do Your Best

This agreement makes the other three  possible. When we simply do our best -- not more and not less -- we avoid self-condemnation and we have no regrets. Although our best is always changing, we continually strive to do our best.

Admittedly, it is challenging and rewarding to examine one’s spirit.  It is exciting and terrifying to examine stuff we have bought into along the way.  It is inspiring and sometimes shameful to look closely at intentions and agendas – and what drives them.  It is tough work to be free from emotional poison, from taking things personally, from making assumptions, and from doing less than very best all the time.  But the rewards are worth the toil. 

 

Many people at HAVEN embody the best of these agreements – clients, staff and volunteers.  HAVEN has great programs, too.  And we all share a common noble goal to enrich each other’s lives.  Now is an exciting time in the agency to re-examine how we do that.  It is a time to dream.  It is a time to dialogue and to share ideas.  It is a time to offer proposals and turn them into something tangible.  Lets make HAVEN a richer community than it is today by adding quality workshops to our scope of services.  Lets discover new ways to get closer “in relationship” with ourselves and with one another.  Lets invite transformation into our lives.  Our enrichment depends on it.

 

H.A.V.E.N.’s Army Gets New Recruits

 

-Michele Mac Cormack

 

On Saturday September 14, 2002 HAVEN I attended my 4th Volunteer Training Session.

I am always amazed at the number of people who come to donate their time to people they do not even know.

I attended training to speak to potential volunteers and tell them what H.A.V.E.N. has meant to me and for the 4th year in a row I have had  to fight back the tears as I told my story. What was different this time is, as I told my story I looked around the room and as I looked into the eyes of one of the trainees I noticed that she too was crying. “She’s a keeper” I thought to my self.

There were 10 trainees in attendance along with Vance Larson, head of the Buddy Program, and Tony Teano. Also there were 4 other quest speakers.

On a personal note I would like to thank all those who attended and all those who already volunteer their time selflessly in the fight against AIDS.

Common Threads

Guest Speakers

Oct. 21:  Ms. R. Strohl from Schering Onconlogy (will speak about Hepatitis)

Consumer Advisory Board's meetings

Tuesdays:  Sept 10, Nov 5, Jan 14, Feb 11. 

All are at the HAVEN Office from 6-8pm           

 

REGRETS – FREE UP THE

DATE -- NOVEMBER 9

DREAM GIRLS

DRAG SHOW

BENEFIT CANCELLED

HELP WANTED!!!

Executive Director, HAVEN, a volunteer-based service provider in Anne Arundel County.  BA/BS degree and experience in managing non-profits, including grant-writing, financial administration, resource development, and personnel management.  Knowledge and experience reflecting sensitivity to the needs of HIV/AIDS and addictions populations, and to cultural diversity.  Salary range $35,000 to $40,000.  Fax resume to 410-544-2244.  Questions? Call 410-544-2244.

Weekend Caregiver for a three-bed home in Anne Arundel County once or twice a month.  Sensitivity to the needs of HIV/AIDS and addictions populations.  Dependable automobile required.  Call 410-544-2244; Fax resume to 410-544-2264.

Support Group Co-Facilitator for adults with HIV/AIDS in Anne Arundel County, every other Monday night.  Experience and sensitivity to cultural diversity.  Call 410-544-2244; Fax resume to 410-544-2264.

 

WHAT IS THE QUALITY OF LIFE RETREAT PROGRAM?

 

A connecting and coping experience for persons living with HIV/AIDS.  A ministry in the Baltimore-Washington Conference of the United Methodist Church.  Quality of Life Retreats are designed to offer a peaceful environment for the emotional, educational, mental and spiritual development of individuals who are dealing with HIV/AIDS. Our continuing goal is to offer to as many persons as possible, the opportunity to participate in an unique experience.  Retreats offer a chance to get away, to get together, to interact, and to learn from each other the techniques and attitudes that are effective in dealing with the issues associated with long term survival.

WHAT HAPPENS AT A RETREAT?

 

The program includes worship, dealing with self-acceptance, spiritual empowerment, dealing with rejection, and family, defining the quality of life and mental health.  There will be entertainment, singing, workshops, prayer, and a healing service.  Participants support each other through a prayer-buddy system.  The group may design a talent show.  The retreat is limited to 40 participants and is offered to persons dealing with HIV/AIDS.  There is an application fee of $10.00, which will be returned if the participant completes the retreat.

We offer a safe and friendly environment where each person can fully express himself/herself free of fear, inhibition and can deal with their deepest concerns.  THE PROGRAM IS ECUMENICAL AND OPEN TO INDIVIDUALS OF ALL FAITHS, RELIGIONS AND BELIEFS.  The Washington, D.C. Retreat House is operated by Sisters of Franciscan Order.

Manidokan is a rustic camp of cabins & lodges on the Potomac River near Harpers Ferry in Western Maryland.

 

 

Become A branch

On our family tree!

Advertise your business in this newsletter!  It’s a WIN-WIN situation for all of us.  You will reach 600 readers of similar interests, and help us with the mailing costs.  Send us your card (PO Box 514, Arnold 21012) and a check and we’ll copy it for $35 an issue (or $350 in each issue for a year). Want more space?  Call Marvin Beckman, 410-266-2425.

 

Anne Arundel County Community Warmline
410 768-5522

 Clip this out and carry it with you in your wallet or purse.  Share it with those who need it.  If you have a friend who says he fears hurting himself or others give him the number.    When it seems like you are at the end of your rope, don't be afraid to ask for help and call the number yourself. 

 

 

 

 

H.A.V.E.N. Friends

Monthly Socials

H.A.V.E.N. Friends meets on the third Thursday of the month.  Activities include miniature golf, bowling pizza and movie night, drag queen bingo, etc.  H.A.V.E.N. Friends is open to volunteers and PLWHA’s.  All activities are at no cost to group members.  Check the newsletter for flyers announcing special events.  Please check the monthly calendar to see if there is a scheduled meeting. 

Buddy Services

If you are a Buddy and need to chat, always feel free to call Vance Larson at (410) 672-7571, or page him at (410) 863-8500.

Need Help With Your SSI Application?

Need help with your SSI application, please call the Health Department at (410) 244-7108.

 

 

h.A.v.e.n.  Telephone Numbers

H.A.V.E.N.
P.O.  BOX 514
Arnold, Maryland 21012
Office:  (410) 224-AIDS [2437]
  Fax:    (410) 571-9328

Interim President Board of Directors
Steve Migdal
(410) 263-8855

Executive Director
Diane Goforth
(410) 544-2244

Director of Volunteer & Client Services
Tony Teano
(410) 224-2437

Housing Director
Merrell-Ayana Waters
(443) 802-7726

Buddy Program Director
Vance Larson
(410) 672-7571

Community Resources

Anne Arundel County
Health Department
(410) 222-7108

HERO Legal Service
(410) 685-1180

Legal Aid
(410) 263-8330

CDC National AIDS Hotline:
1-800-342-AIDS (342-2437)
Spanish:  1-800-342-SIDA
             1-800-342-7432
Deaf TTD:  1-800-AIDS-TTY
                1-800-243-7889

National STD (Sexually Transmitted Diseases) Hotline
1-800-227-8922
National Lesbian & Gay Crisis Line:
1-800-SOS-GAYS
1-800-767-4497
National Runaway Switchboard:
1-800-344-7432

Teens & AIDS Hotline:
1-800-234-TEEN
1-800-8336

Questions About Treatment for HIV Disease?

  Call the HIV/AIDS Treatment Information Service for  federally approved treatment information.

Call:
1-800-HIV-0440
1-800-448-0440
TDD/Deaf Access:
1-800-243-7012

Monday - Friday
9:00 a.m.  to 7:00 p.m.  EST

All calls are completely confidential.

Write:
P.O.  Box 6063
Rockville, MD 20849-6303
Fax:  1-301-738-6616

Sponsored by the U.S.  Public
Health Service

Free Testing

For free, anonymous HIV/AIDS testing and counseling, call the Anne Arundel County Health Department at:

222-7493                  -  Annapolis (Riva Road)

222-6633  -  Glen Burnie Health Center

222-6634  -  Odenton Health Center

222-7248                  -  Parole Health Center